Archive for November, 2010

Hi World.

So, I’ll just cut straight to the meat on this one:

The Distinguished_Gentleman wants a relationship.

… and I’m not too thrilled about this ish.

I mean yeah, I like him and yeah, he likes me, and yeah, he has some piercings that I’m a little too into (don’t judge me for my freak-like-tendencies)…

… and yeah, he gives the best kisses in the world and cooks for me and massages my legs when I’m sore from ROTC…

But what if it ends?

You see, I’m really starting to care about D_G, and if, for some odd reason, our relationship ended (which is more likely than not)… well… I just don’t want to hurt like that again.

And how am I supposed to tell him about my celibacy?  Do I just wait until it comes up or should I tell him now and gauge his reaction?  What if he starts acting funny?  Although I’d be better off without him, it would still hurt.

Now I’m saying all of this in order to get the point across that while I do feel that I  am better equipped now than I was 55 days ago to deal with a relationship because of this celibacy challenge, I may have taken a few steps backwards in the sense of being able to be in one.  I know I can be faithful and honest and understanding and all that other jazz, but I don’t think, especially in the case of D_G, that it’s any easier for me to lose someone that I care about.

Does that every become easy?

Peace, Love, and Celibacy


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Ayurvedic Coils: Amla

Hi Guys!

As we all know, Thanksgiving is only a couple of days away and that means this little college student gets to go home and use a quality shower, or at least a sink with a spray attachment!  You can probably all tell that my hair is in for a little babying this holiday, and, after my second visit to the Indian grocery here in Atlanta, I’ve decided that I’d like to get in on a little bit of this Amla action that’s been all over the boards I lurk on.

Yes, I am a lurker.  What?!  That’s how I get my best hair tips!

Now, being that no one should attempt to do anything to their hair without researching the effects it could have and how to do it correctly, I decided to do what every good researcher does:

I googled it.

… and I liked what I saw!

Amla (also known as “Indian Gooseberry”) is a fruit about the sized of a lemon with high levels of vitamin C and ascorbic

Amla fruit!

acid.  This strange Indian fruit has the ability to:

  • lower cholesterol (extract – according to recent studies)
  • controlling blood glucose levels (extract – also according to recent studies)
  • be used as a skin toner
  • help with rheumatism
  • darken hair due to its high tannin content (powder or oil)
  • prevent premature graying (powder or oil)
  • prevent hair fall (powder or oil)
  • add volume, shine, and enhance curl (often used to counteract the curl-loosening affects of henna)

So… I was left sitting on my way-too-high twin XL bed after googling this strange fruit, wondering, “Well how in the world am I supposed to use this powder?”

Well, it’s actually pretty simple:

  1. Mix 100g amla powder with about a cup of hot water to make a very thick paste.
  2. Slowly pour and mix in more water until the paste loosens up and is spreadable on hair.
  3. Spread onto the hair in sections.
  4. Wrap hair in Saran Wrap and allow the paste to sit on the hair for 30 minutes.
  5. Rinse, deep condition, and enjoy your coils!

Alright then, coilies; there you have it!  Hopefully I’ve provided you with enough information to successfully Amla your hair.  If not, feel free to use the comment box for questions!

… and the cable in my dorm room just went out for the third time this week (it’s only Tuesday, mind you)…


Peace, Love, and Amla!



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So today is day 46 of my 365 days of celibacy…

and I am utterly astounded that I made it this far.

Why, you ask?  Well…

First of all: I’m a very sexual creature, and, to be honest, I don’t really masturbate for fear of my roommate and her boyfriend (my brother) hearing it and jonesing me about it for… I dunno… THE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE.

Second of all: I’ve almost completely lost my sex drive.  Yeah, it’s easier, but at the same time… I’m only twenty and I really don’t want to have sex with anyone!  I’m supposed to be young, dumb, and full of cum…

Now I’m just young and dumb 😦

Last but not least is the third reason I’m shocked at the way things are going:

I met someone.

No, scratch that… I spent time with someone that I met long ago and sparked a new flame.  Aww yeah.

So here’s the story:

As a cadet in Army ROTC you tend to meet a lot of cool dudes with nice bodies, but they’re all immediately put into the “just friends” or “running buddy” category because… well… the cadet Corps has enough issues without the added burden of cadets screwing other cadets.

Yeah, I said it.

But last year, one young man in particular (who was a year older than me) caught my eye.  He wasn’t magically delicious, like a box of Lucky Charms, or even super strong, like the Hulk…

He was just this average Joe-Schmoe black guy that I actually felt comfortable talking to about stuff, seemed really nice, and that I actually looked forward to seeing on field training exercises and at PT tests, when we’d catch up on each other but somehow never exchange numbers… but was getting kicked out of the program for (duh duh duhhh) legal reasons.

I mean, what can I say?  Shawty want a thug… with nipple rings (Oh hell yes, I digs that REAL hard.  *drools unapologetically*)

Fast forward to last week and I’m casually clicking the “Send Friend Request” button on facebook to add my cocoa-chocolate-Adonis-fantasy-lover as a friend on facebook.  I mean, I hadn’t seen him in FOREVER and we were cool… and he was no longer a cadet, so he could be my friend now… right?


The next day I just happened to be perusing the F-eth B-eth in my leisure time when a message from him popped up asking how I was.  After some witty banter back and forth via the infamous social-networking site, we decided to exchange numbers.  After all, a college student may not have clean underwear or decent food to eat, oh, but we will for sure be killing the unlimited text game.  #StraightMurkin in ‘dis…

AAANNNYYYWWWHHHOOO… we got to textin’ late LaTe LATE into the night about everything platonic and mildly flirtatious.  Ladies and gentlemen, I must admit: when I felt the vibe, I pulled out all of the game that I’d had on reserve for moments such as this for years… which of course ended in us setting up a time to chill together and bake some cupcakes at his dorm, which is about 20 miles away.

But the thing is, he didn’t get off until 11PM that night, and I am not a good driver when I’m well rested, let alone sleepy.

Somehow, Saturday night found me flying up I-75 North with “Lisa Marie” blasting in my ears and the freshest skinny jeans in the ATL hugging each and every one of my curves.  When I say I was ready for war, y’all… my jeans were Flocka, front yard, broad day, with the SK.  I mean, BA-BA-BA-BA-BOW!

So I finally arrived at my destination and went inside to find a WHOLE BUNCH of people in his apartment drinking and playing Def Jam RockStar.

Sad face.  I thought it was gonna be just the two of us.

But, as college often goes, people come and people leave, and soon everyone was gone but his roomies, their female companions, and him and I in the kitchen, arguing over some Red Velvet cake batter and whether or not I should take a shot of Tequila (which I was strongly against… for a few minutes).  Then we were icing the cupcakes and he was holding me and telling his roommates not to tell me that I was cool or else I’d get a big head.  The shot of tequila left me very sober but afraid to drive and, at 3 AM, I was too sleepy anyhow, so I politely asked to crash.

I felt very bad about this.  I hate crashing and I hate being incapacitated in front of people whose respect I desire.

So we went to his room and he politely offered me half of his bed to sleep on, which I gladly took.  His school furnished their students with full-sized beds and I was all too used to sleeping on an XL twin 3 feet in the air, so I knew I’d have no problem staying on my side.  He gave me his word that he wouldn’t try anything that night, citing the umpteen-million rape cases pending in America that involved the victim drinking beforehand.

OK. Cool.

The next morning I wake up to flashbacks of my time with ArtKid because wouldn’t you know it, this kid is playing in my hair, saying “It’s so fluffy I wanna ddddiiiiieeeee!”


And we sat up at 9 AM and talked our way all the way into the afternoon non-stop, not even leaving the confines of his room for food.  I had to admit it to myself: the boy had me.  He focused solely on me, and even kissed me as we were talking.

Several times.

Ahh… let me be honest… we made out ferociously like two teenagers for a good thirty to forty-five minutes… and it was FUGGING AMAAAAAAZING.  He’s probably the best kisser I’ve ever had the pleasure of kissing.

And he didn’t try to go any further than that, which made me want to kiss him even more.

AND (are you guys listening)… he claimed me.  I mean to say, he looked me square in the eyes and said, “I want all this to be mine,” and was gesturing to me.

Part of me wanted to just lay down and write his name on my shoulder inside a ribbon on a heart with a black crayola marker, like in elementary school.  Ugh!  Where have you been all my… college career?!

It’s been more than 24 hours since I got back to my school and I can’t stop thinking about the kisses, the arms wrapped around me in his kitchen, the cupcakes, and him standing at the curb watching me drive away.

I really really really hope this one works out in my favor, and that he’s not the kind of guy who will trip about my celibacy… because I’m still in this 🙂

So, world, herein (hopefully) lies the beginning of a very beautiful thing: the saga of the Distinguished_Gentleman, or D_G for short.  Yes, the underscore is mandatory.

Peace, Love, and 319 Days to Go!


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39 Days and Counting…

Ahhh, hello world.  It’s been a while.

I just got out of the field (field training with Army ROTC) and I realized that I’ve been celibate for 39 days.

Thirty. Nine.

And I’ve honestly stopped craving sex at this point.

I think with all of the drama between me, ArtKid, and Coach (more on that extremely complicated, messy argument later), I’ve become a bit repulsed with the idea of having sex with some dude who, more than likely, is only pursuing me for sex.

I mean, I’m jussayin’… yuck.  Don’t people masturbate anymore?

But these 39 days have given me a new perspective on my failed relationship with Mr. Image, and what I really want in a man.

Mr. Image was the first man I had a serious relationship with since I’ve been in college, and it lasted for the better part of two years… but it was never truly working.  I say this because, no matter what, he always assumed I was going to be mad at him for doing certain things, like hanging out with his female friends or going out to the club… silly little things… so he’d always lie to me.

… Fun Fact #1: Most women absolutely hate liars

And when something was really important to me, chances are it was of negligible importance to him, such as my all out war with running in an attempt to qualify for participation in Army ROTC (despite what people may tell you in an attempt to motivate you, some people just AREN’T meant to run).  Tell me why my boyfriend, a high school and college track star, never once ran with me, even though I asked him to.

… Fun Fact #2: Everyone likes to be cared for.

Those two huge problems caused a host of even smaller ones, including trust issues… and I think we all know that no relationship can ever survive trust issues (I didn’t even need a fun fact for that one).

Ironically enough, for a while after we broke up, I really wanted that back.  I thought I may actually love this dude.

Lately though, I realized I was just comfortable with what I had… and I really don’t want to talk to him anymore.  I’m finally over being treated any kind of way for the sake of a relationship, and I honestly don’t want to be in a relationship for a long time.  I like it that, without committing, I can have all of the dates, lots of the companionship, and twice as much fun as I did while I was in a relationship.

Fun Fact #3: Being single is actually not a bad thing!

I just feel as if a relationship is too much work for me right now, and I’m not into trying to make something work.  I really don’t even know anyone who would be worth it right about now… except this one grad student who speaks French, actually possesses manners (OMFG and a whole bunch of other acronyms), and has a smile fit for prime-time TV (yum).

Anywho… all this in 39 days!  Whoa.  I think I may actually call myself enlightened!

I just hope the next 326 days give me the same amount of clarity.

Peace, Love, and Celibacy,


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Winter is Approaching!

Hey ladies (and gentlemen)!

I know it’s been a while but school got “really real” as people like to say around here and I got stretched a little too thin.  I’ve been meaning to do an article on my new hair routine but… yeah.

Anywho, it finally got cold in Atlanta!  Now that it’s officially time to trade the booty-shorts ( or “coochie-cutters” depending on where you are from)  and gladiator sandals out for the skinny jeans and slouchy suede boots of all the different colors of the rainbow, we must be reminded to change out our hair products.

*whiny voices from teh background* but why, SuperCoils?

Because, like I said in the moisturizer manifesto, glycerin is not your friend in dry air, and winter is very, very dry.  As a matter of fact, glycerin is like a moisture Robin Hood… it steals from the rich and gives to the poor.  So if your hair is rich in moisture and the air around you is not, guess who’s gonna be a little poorer at the end of the day.

But this isn’t just true for glycerin… it’s true for ALL humectants!  They work well in hair on the principal that they rob moisture from whatever is richest in moisture near them and hold on to it.  If you coat your hair in a humectant, the moisture they draw to themselves will eventually end up in your hair AS LONG AS your hair is the driest thing in that particular area.

That being said, take the time now to look at your ingredient lists and see if your favorite products contain any humectancts.  If they do and you’ve noticed some abnormal dryness lately, that may be the cause.  Try switching to another product for a while and see if the situation improves.  So if your favorite product contains any glycols, lactic acids, honey, agave nectar, glycerin, or the like… you may have to let it go for a few months.  However, if everything is working for you… well… if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

I hope to be on here again later today, but if I’m not… you know what happened:(

Peace, Love, and Changing Seasons,


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