Posts Tagged ‘pressured to BC’

I gotta admit… I’m kind of annoyed right now.

You got somethin' to say?

You know, since beginning my transition to natural hair, the most comments I’ve gotten against natural hair in general were from my mom, and she was only pissed because she didn’t think I’d be able to manage it.  Once I began to do natural styles and she saw that I knew what I was doing, she loved it and is actually enjoying my transition just as much as I am.  Her words: “they didn’t have this many resources for natural hair 26 years ago!” (when she was natural).

Most people compliment my hair in general and have a lot of questions about it, which I’m more than happy to answer.

The thing that bothers me the most is when other naturals pressure me to BC.  I’m just not ready for that yet, but some people just don’t seem to understand that.

And it’s not the vast majority of them… just a select few who seem to think their opinions actually matter.

I’d much rather cut it off slowly as it grows out, and this is why:

  1. In my opinion, with my facial structure, very short afro hair would NOT look good on me.  I personally like my hair to at least hit my chin bone with a braid-out, although my hair has been longer than that my whole life.
  2. As fly as some new naturals are with their short, sassy, cropped do’s… the BC look just ain’t for everybody.  While I will always support anybody who goes natural no matter their method… it just isn’t cute on some faces.
  3. I don’t know how to maintain short hair!  Short hair is more difficult (in my opinion, of course) to do than long hair just because of the boredom factor.  I get bored very easily and want to be able to style my hair in more than just a TWA plus something.
  4. I’m in ROTC, and need to be able to pull my hair back in order to conform to regulations.
  5. I really want my first style to be a set of long, thick twists.
  6. I want to be sure that I know how to manage natural hair before my hair is all natural.  Right now, when I mess up, it’s mostly my relaxed ends that suffer the most.  They are something like a permanent protective style of sorts in that my natural hair is less likely to break off with the relaxed ends on it.  The relaxed ends just break instead.  It’s the lesser of two evils, in my opinion.
  7. I’m just not ready.  I don’t feel comfortable with having hair that short.

What bothers me most is when other naturals counter with, “Well, are you just insecure about yourself and having short hair?”

Ummm… no.

And this is the part where I vent:

No, I am not insecure with myself.  I know what I want and this is what I have chosen to do.  I also know that I am blessed with beauty, a wonderful, supportive family, and, most of all, the ability to make my own choices.  Why you hatin’?  Why is it your business how I choose to manage my transition?  Why do you insult the fact that I have chosen to transition this long, then ask me for styling tips and help managing your hair in the same sentence?

This is something I just don’t get, and probably never will, but hey, maybe I’m just tripping.  I mean, I know people may be curious to see it, but we’re grown, and that high school peer pressure isht is just downright annoying.  Sorry, but I can’t sugar-coat it any more than that.

Personally, I think one of my friends, Joyce, whom I’m always admired for her positive attitude and great wisdom, said it best when she said, “I think someone should only BC when they are ready.”

You rock, Joyce!

All that aside, the purpose of this post is to a.) vent and b.) encourage people to do just as Joyce said, and BC when you are ready!  I’ve come ttthhiiss close to BCing a couple of times and chickened out, only to be glad I did.  Don’t let anyone pressure you into making that big of a decision when you aren’t ready.  After all, it’s you who has to deal with your hair, not them.

Personally, it’s not a fear of natural hair, but the knowledge that I am not yet skilled enough to manage it as well as I would like to be that’s keeping me from cutting off my relaxed ends.  Besides, the whole transitioning period gives you time to adjust slowly, find what works for you, and be sure that natural hair is truly what you want.

That’s all I got for now, but I’ll probably post again in a few hours.  Been feeling kind of restless today, and I have to make up for yesterday, when I didn’t have internet and couldn’t post 😦

Peace, Love, and Naturals like Joyce!


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